Friday, August 15, 2008

Hello and Goodbye

Direach, me fein is mo anan chara
Direach, go dti an tir taingiri
Direach, mo ghra, mo solas chroi
Direach, go dti an hy-brasil
An ghriain sa speir, nar dhiaim le ghaoith
Is tusa ag suil in aidhid liom
Direach do dti
An Tir nAmarach

(Directly I and my soul friend
Directly to the Land of Promises
Directly my love, the light of my heart.
Directly to Hy-brasil
The sun in the sky and at our backs the wind
And you with me
Directly to
The land of tomorrow)

In ancient times, our forefathers would bring to the sacred place, some token of the dead, and with ceremony, place this among the tokens of the ancestors, sheltered by the sacred stones, buried in the womb of Gaia and aligned with the universe itself.
In this day, remote and unconnected as we have become from the rhythm and power of our Mother, we yet try to recreate that sense of life in death; we come here to affirm ourselves as a family, united in our love for the departed, and in the belief that we will meet them again. They have not left us, but have rather gone on ahead. In another time, in another place, we will once again share our lives with them.

I am Elizabeth, and I am come to name the dead. I bestow upon them, the names of Lilith Andrea and Flora Maribel. I name them as the mother.

I am Fernando, and I am come to name the dead. I bestow upon them, the names of Lilith Andrea and Flora Maribel. I name them as the father.

We are destined to part, but between two souls who love, there can be no true parting. I carry you with me always, and I bless your names Lilith and Flora.

It is the way of Life that all living beings,
whether early or late,
come unto Death,
that in Time
they may come round again to circle in Life

And so unto Death have you gone,
my little ones,
blood of my blood,
flesh of my flesh,
children of my heart;
like this bud, never to bloom
not in the fullness of time
to bear seeds, wither and die.
Yet, like this flower bud
a thing of beauty and joy
even for all its unfulfilled promise,
so you were for me a wondrous and magical experience
however short
Thank you for your precious gift.


Of the Triple Goddess,
She Who Opens and Shuts All Doors
Lady of All Joys and Sorrows,
I ask for you:
that the Crone always fly you to Summerland wrapped in the softest black feathers,
that the Mother always comfort you in Her loving embrace,
that the Maiden always smile brightly on you.
Know that there will always be an empty place under my heart that cannot be filled
where your memories shall dwell forever.
I bid you a pleasant journey
and a peaceful sojourn.
Rest well,
be renewed
and return again.
Fare thee well, Lilith and Flora, Forever

So mote it be.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

"It wasn't meant to last"

That's what I keep hearing. We had an ultrasound scheduled yesterday. Apparently while the sac is continuing to grow at a normal rate, the embryo stopped growing 3 weeks ago. There was no heartbeat.
We have chosen a name for this child that we can never truly know. Her name is Lilith Andrea. Andrea being pronounce the spanish way of ahn-DRRAY-ah. She will be missed.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Well, what do you know????




I did not see that coming....

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Birthday pictures

I got socks. Wrapping paper is more interesting.

More unwrapping.


I love to squat!


Pants!!


More presents


NEAT! A tag!!


I want to play with the stuff on the couch.


More squatting.


Mama! It's mine!


Sure Mama, just try putting that together while I'm playing with it.


Bub and sis


Sis took this picture of Papa


My very own cake.


Yummy, carrot cake


So yummy

Friday, March 21, 2008

One year ago...

One year ago tonight, I was 41 weeks pregnant.
One year ago tonight, I was sitting here at the computer.
One year ago tonight, I was having contractions every five to ten minutes.
One year ago tonight, I was excited to meet you.
One year ago tonight, we had a family of 4.

One year ago tomorrow, I went to the doctor.
One year ago tomorrow, I got to see you on the ultrasound.
One year ago tomorrow, you were unresponsive.
One year ago tomorrow, they said you stopped growing.
One year ago tomorrow, they said you couldn't wait anymore.
One year ago tomorrow, they said they were going to cut me open again.
One year ago tomorrow, they said they were going to take you out of me.
One year ago tomorrow, I went to the hospital.
One year ago tomorrow, I walked, crying, into the operating room.
One year ago tomorrow, I heard your first cries.
One year ago tomorrow, I looked into your beautiful eyes.
One year ago tomorrow, I mourned my lost birth.
One year ago tomorrow, they said, "At least you have a healthy baby."

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Just pics this time

I have a lot to say, but not a lot of time. Here are some pics for now.