Tuesday, September 11, 2007
I finally did it..
I got my first real haircut in over 4 years. It feels so much lighter. Maybe my headaches will not come as often now.
Let's see if I can get this to work...
This is how long it was before
And this was right after I got it cut
I've also decided to dye it, so I'll try to get some pics after that. :)
Let's see if I can get this to work...
This is how long it was before
And this was right after I got it cut
I've also decided to dye it, so I'll try to get some pics after that. :)
Friday, September 7, 2007
Better...
Things are better. Lucky got paid and we have food. :) It's nice to have a choice of things to eat...lol (as I sit here eating graham crackers).
Today was Alexia first day of school. She was so happy. All the parents were asked to join the kids in the classroom to do quick introductions. When it was time to leave, I got a half hug and she was back to coloring. She did tell me when I picked her up that she was a little bored with coloring, and she wished that the teacher would let her read, but all in all, she had fun.
Today was Alexia first day of school. She was so happy. All the parents were asked to join the kids in the classroom to do quick introductions. When it was time to leave, I got a half hug and she was back to coloring. She did tell me when I picked her up that she was a little bored with coloring, and she wished that the teacher would let her read, but all in all, she had fun.
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
AP and Bad Mommy
It seems like lately all my blog posts are nothing but my complaining...well, here's another one.
I have removed part of this post. Please accept my apologies, but there were some things that were stated out of anger that I have removed. I also removed some comments that were referring to this part of the post. No offense meant to the ones who commented, please don't take it that way.
It broke my heart today that I hurt my little man. Lucian stuck something up his nose, so I had to get it out. The whole time he was crying. I hate knowing that I caused him to cry. It wasn't so much that I actually HURT him, but he didn't like having his hands restrained so that I could get to his nose. When it was all over, we just hugged and cried for a long time. I think I really needed that cry.
On a (sort of) different topic, I am also a bad wife. I hate cleaning, but nobody else will do it. Apparently because I'm home all day, the house should be immaculate at all times. I can't. I just can't. I try, but it seems like no matter what I do, its not enough. I've even thought of asking for help, but its gotten to the point that I would be ashamed for anyone to see my house. I need help, but I'm not sure what kind.
Again feeling like a horrible mom today, because my kids had to have oatmeal for dinner. I hate having to try to answer a 5 year old who's asking, "Mommy, why don't you eat? Aren't you hungry?" when the answer is yes, I'm hungry, but if I eat, there won't be enough for you. Growing up, I never thought I would be THAT mom. I wasn't going to be the one that had to invent things to eat out of the 3 ingredients in the house. I wasn't going to give my kids cold cereal for 3 meals in one day. I wasn't going to be her...but I am, and it kills me. Sometimes I think that my kids would be better off living with someone else, but I wouldn't be able to live knowing that they weren't with me.
I need a hug.
I have removed part of this post. Please accept my apologies, but there were some things that were stated out of anger that I have removed. I also removed some comments that were referring to this part of the post. No offense meant to the ones who commented, please don't take it that way.
It broke my heart today that I hurt my little man. Lucian stuck something up his nose, so I had to get it out. The whole time he was crying. I hate knowing that I caused him to cry. It wasn't so much that I actually HURT him, but he didn't like having his hands restrained so that I could get to his nose. When it was all over, we just hugged and cried for a long time. I think I really needed that cry.
On a (sort of) different topic, I am also a bad wife. I hate cleaning, but nobody else will do it. Apparently because I'm home all day, the house should be immaculate at all times. I can't. I just can't. I try, but it seems like no matter what I do, its not enough. I've even thought of asking for help, but its gotten to the point that I would be ashamed for anyone to see my house. I need help, but I'm not sure what kind.
Again feeling like a horrible mom today, because my kids had to have oatmeal for dinner. I hate having to try to answer a 5 year old who's asking, "Mommy, why don't you eat? Aren't you hungry?" when the answer is yes, I'm hungry, but if I eat, there won't be enough for you. Growing up, I never thought I would be THAT mom. I wasn't going to be the one that had to invent things to eat out of the 3 ingredients in the house. I wasn't going to give my kids cold cereal for 3 meals in one day. I wasn't going to be her...but I am, and it kills me. Sometimes I think that my kids would be better off living with someone else, but I wouldn't be able to live knowing that they weren't with me.
I need a hug.
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